The Lost & The Damned

A great little article…

The Life & Times of Mr Jarred Triskelion

Do you have phrases or expressions which are always at the forefront of your mind? They might be a popular saying, a line from a film or the chorus of a song. You might keep them contained within your mind. Alternatively you might allow them to slip frequently into your speech like sitcom catchphrases. A writer tends to have more than their fair share of these. They are, after all, their stock-in-trade. Crowley would refer to the future, on occasion, as being a “strange and terrible new aeon.” For my own part there are Nietzsche quotes, lines from Paradise Lost and my observations that “magick is not something you do, it is something you are” & “science can no more prove the existence of magick than magick can prove the existence of science”.  Above all of these, however, are five words which have haunted my mind since childhood: “the lost &…

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I Hated School

There is a lot of talk these days about bullying at school. I just, for example, read a story in my local paper about an actress from Beverley who recounts her experiences of bullying. Was anyone not bullied at school?

Looking back, I recall the cruelty of other kids too. We moved from west Hull to Willerby – a far posher place, when I was 9 or 10 and feelt very out of place. I was different too. I wore my heart on my sleeve, I was interested in ghosts, occultism, spirituality and uninterested in sports. I loved music (still do) and followed T.Rex long after that was considered cool. I self taught to play guitar and was always in a band of some sort. Somehow this combination attracted the derision of a certain element of my fellow pupils. It was sort of psychological warfare really.

There were of course those few times when I was physically attacked. Usually at the school gates where a knowing crowd would have accumulated to watch Vasey get it. I recall the sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as I sensed that crowd was there to watch me get beaten. I never hit back. I just took it and left. What was the point and what did it prove? Nothing.

Looking back, it seems to me that other kids detested my joy of life. They found my innocence and interest in things somehow challenging. However, I don’t want to make out that I was consistently bullied. I wasn’t. I know others that were. Just, I experienced how cruel kids can be. Now I understand, it was jealousy and fear that provoked these reactions. Make fun of something you fear and get even with someone who seems to have something you want.

I didn’t enjoy my school years. I was pleased to get away at 18 and go to College where I could make a new start free of the prejudices and history that clouded my school days. I never looked back once I escaped and I often wonder who I would have turned out to be had I stayed in the area surrounded by that prejudice and negativity? These are energies that have an impact.

The funny thing is that those prejudices were not limited to my fellow pupils but actually included one or two teachers. As long as I live, I will never forget the laughter of my ex-Chemistry master when I told him I had gained a first class honours degree. I was visiting the school to see my old geology master and let him know that I had succeeded largely thanks to his love of Geology and infectious teaching abilities. I remember how the Chemistry teacher’s laughter faded slowly away to be replaced by reddened cheeks as he realized I was serious. He made a quick exit, but with teachers like that, no wonder kids sometimes cannot succeed.

I suppose though, looking back, that I should thank those other kids that thought me odd and baited me about it. In the end, I found a self confidence inside of myself that in part, was a reaction to their psychological belittling and fun making. I saw it for what it was and I used it as fuel for personal growth.

Often when talking to friends they say they wish that they could go back in time to their school days when they were happy. I shudder and I tell them you can keep your school days. I hated that time of my life. I am happy in the here and now and this is where I want to and should be. Right here, where I am because all is as it should be.



Me – in the school play….. circa 1973?

Humanity’s Death Wish

Humanity seems to have a death wish. Not a day goes by without reading someone’s idea that the world is about to end, Jesus is coming back, revelation is about to happen, the planets are all aligned and so on. Even some people that I respect in magical circles seem to be looking for some kind of end. Why?

We do not seem able to learn the most basic of lessons as a species. Throughout known history, people have looked to end times and seen signs and portents of doom all around them. It never happened and yet people keep on keeping on seeing signs and looking for signs of the end times. Sorry, I do not get it. Why? Don’t we ever learn?

These days, there are entire websites and FB groups on the topic of the end times. It comes in many flavors from WW3 and nuclear annihilation to a more gentle spread of some new consciousness that will raise the planet into a new dimension.  Again, I don’t get it.

Change is constant. Without change, the world would stagnate and it would indeed end but it doesn’t. It continues to change. Empires and nations rise and fall, the center of power moves geographically, culturally and socially, wars start and finish. The only thing that is constant about our world is change.

While people continually seek signs and portents of the end times, there are a few who would even work towards making it happen. That is dangerous. They work in Government or they work at a local level and we have seen the results of the mayhem these people can create – mass suicides, mass deaths, people giving their entire worldy possessions away and much more. The world is just a reflection of ourselves. Seeking the end times is like a death wish coming from our soul. It is a sickness and an obsession that originates in a lack of self-love and self-worth.

If you want to look for portents and signs, I will tell you where to look. Inside of your self. Take the time to meditate and look deep.  The changes that you look for in the external world have to happen inside of you first. This is why hearing people in the magical community jump on the end times are nigh bandwagon is so deeply disturbing. Surely, they should know this? Or maybe it is just me. Maybe I am the insane one here, that sees how change is constant and that I must look inwards and change me in order to change the world?



My Haunted Life – Extreme Edition Available

Today, I have a new paperback about to hit the market in the form of My Haunted Life – The Extreme Edition. Weighing in at 210 pages and $12.99, its birth was actually relatively painless as it is essentially My Haunted Life, My Haunted Life Too, My Haunted Life 3 and two additional, never published before stories as a bonus. The cover is I think pretty spooky too!

My Haunted Life Series
I started writing My Haunted Life last year as an idea to expand on some of the material in Inner Journeys (my first book back in 2005). In Inner Journeys, I talk about growing up with poltergeist and ghosts and how that made me interested in the supernatural and magic. The point of the book was to talk about studying with a real school of magic in the form of the Servants of the Light however. So, I took some of the mentioned experiences and added some more in the form of true short stories and put it out on Kindle. The result was – a minor hit. Something of a first for me.

Given the success of that book, I decided to continue the theme and so My Haunted Life Too was born and went to #1 in two categories on Amazon. It still regularly appears in the top 10 of those two categories. Quite a thrill. Only last night, I got a new follower on Twitter who told me they were reading the book and enjoying it. It feels good to know that people I have never ever met, total strangers – are buying and reading my books.

My Haunted Life 3 came out earlier this year as a final follow up. It also is doing well.

Being Kindle books, they are all around 60-80 pages long and so I abandoned any thought of a paperback version of each (I did try with the first book but I found the pricing uneconomic). However, by combining all three Kindle books and adding a couple more stories what I end up with is a rather nice collection os short stories at a reasonable price.

I am done with the My Haunted Life phase of my writing career now though. I am not done with books about the supernatural however, and I am working on three new books right now. Two will be the shorter Kindle-type books and one will be a longer paperback novel. I’m having fun.


Allergic to Beer?

Woe is me!

I am forced to conclude that I am allergic to something in beer. I love beer, especially Czech beer, but it hates me.

Last night, I had four glasses of beer with a friend. This morning, I am dizzy, throbbing headache, my right eye is swollen up and my sinuses too and I have a sore throat on that side too. In short, I feel pretty crappy to say the least. I have been getting this sort of reaction to most beers this last few years but this time is the worst. If I drink wine, whiskey or anything else, I am fine so it really is beer.

My father suffered the same fate. The older he got the more beer seemed to dislike him. A pint of Fosters Lager was about all he could manage in the end without a similar sort of reaction.

So I am afraid that I must now stop drinking beer. Aging is such an insult.



An Independent Website

Well, after a year on, this blog has made its bid for freedom once more and is now a stand alone website again. I still have a version – you can find it here and, if things are working correctly, my updates here will also automatically appear there…. There may yet be a few bugs and tweeks to be made.

I moved the site because, while the social interaction offered by is excellent, it is at the expense of many other functions. For example, I can’t link to my books on Amazon properly, I can’t add an embedded newsletter sign up form and much much more. On this site, I will be adding all of the functionality over time.

Meanwhile, My Haunted Life – Extreme Edition, the paperback, has had its button pushed too and at some point in the next 24-hours will be available to purchase on all the amazon sites and elsewhere besides. The paperback contains all three kindle books and two never before published additional stories as a bonus. So, for those of you who like to smell book smell and hold a real book in your hands, you can now do so and read My Haunted Life…..


my haunted life extreme (1)



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Haunted by Past Actions…

A few weeks ago I went to the medical center. The lady behind the reception counter asked me for my ID (a repeat prescription). It was a nice day and I was in a good mood so with a grin as broad as can be and in an exaggerated big and bold voice I said “What? ID? Surely my word should be enough?” Now I said this even as I searched visibly in my back pocket for my passport. The woman looked at me with a look of derision and scorn. “ID is required,” she says.

“Yes, I am looking for it,” says I puzzled.

The look on her face says it all.

“You do know I’m Joking with you right?” says I.

The look says all I need to know.

So now, every time I go to the medical center, it is a frosty reception I encounter and I can almost hear the staff saying “Watch out for that one, he is trouble.”

Perhaps I am, but at least I do have a sense of humor.


Wacky Thought for the Day

Imagine if wars were fought with love. Bombs of pure loving were dropped on your enemies and bullets of appreciation fired in love as opposed to anger. Imagine if every word you spoke and every thought you thought was motivated by love. Imagine an army of love on the move to liberate the poor, the distressed, the despised and the self-haters.

Yes – it is a strange thought, but it makes you wonder how different a world we would live in if love was the primary motivating emotion.