Well. It’s impossible not to, really, once you’ve been accidentally dive-bombed by one.

First, a little background information. I was born blind in one eye. This has made me incredibly sensitive to any risk of damage to the good one.

Ironically, every eye injury I have ever suffered has been to the ‘good one’; and I usually don’t do things half-heartedly. So much so, that as a result of one such injury there is a high-resolution image of my good (but seriously damaged) eyeball published in an ophthalmology textbook, under the “don’t do this” section…

Fast forward to a particularly onerous shopping trip. I can usually last for an hour. This, however, was opening day for a new wing at the local hell spa super-store, dedicated to all sorts of wonderful things you never knew you needed, and the better half was intent on checking out…