I use spam blockers and rarely see what goes for spam these days. Today however, I scrolled through the hundreds of suspicious and spammy emails and arrived at some conclusions….

• Apparently, I’m in need of a woman. Yes, I am advised to try Ukrainian and Russian brides, Asian brides as well as one or two rather naughtier suggestions from middle-aged Czech women,
• I’m also very rich! – Perhaps this is why these women find me particularly alluring. People I do not know have deposited hundreds and hundreds of dollars in my back account or think they should – either I have a long lost relative or some long lost dividend in stock I never owned…
• When I do hook up, I’m needing a vacation it seems with offers from all sorts of locations for cheap and free getaways…
• And I will need lessons also it seems on what to do with all of these ladies between the sheets as well as a ton of medication to help me erm…. deliver…
• Finally, it seems I must be desperate for female company because not only have I been trolling porn sites at will but someone hacked my computer and filmed me with my own webcam doing things I shouldn’t. Now, they appear to think that unless I pay them bitcoin, CNN will want those tapes!

I swear, Spam is a hoot if you read it right. The last one always amuses me. I do not have a webcam as I use a laptop folded away and large screen…… so not sure what they recorded? But the idea that CNN would want to buy it? LOL.

I’m not sure where a lot of this spam originates but I know that my email address has been stolen in many lists from my security software. It advises me about mass thefts and advises me to change passwords at that time. However, the spammers plainly have me down as a lonely fool eager for cash, women and sex. They don’t seem to know that I spend much of my time dowsing in the forest and would gladly go live in a remote location with just the essentials….. Their problem…